Brad Brown

Back in 2001, when I was riding the crest of the dot-com revolution, I invested in a collector’s item that would change my life. I purchased a baseball cap with the words “Big Sexy Uncle” emblazoned on it. I put the hat on my conversation-piece shelf and would stare at it occasionally, daydreaming of the day I would wear it while commanding a battleship in the South Pacific. But that day never came. Eventually, the hat ended up in the prize closet. The other day, as I was thinking of ways to reward the millions of loyal BradBrown.com readers, I decided to check the prize closet, and I discovered the hat behind my secret demo recordings of the forthcoming Stone Temple Pilots record. It was then I decided that I must hold a contest to give the hat away.
 
The Prize
The BSU hat is a fine navy blue one-size-fits-all hat. The words “Big Sexy Uncle” are painted on the front, with embroidered wings on the bill (similar to what Army Rangers wear).

This hat is perfect for one of the following types of people:

• The Magnum P.I. type who’s dating a younger woman - a woman who you refer to as your “niece.”
• The twenty-year-old guy who hangs out in high school parking lots, attempting to bond with young teenage girls via a white Chevy van filled with Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers.
• Sarah Larson. This hat would make a great gag gift for you to give George Clooney

The Contest
To enter the contest, post a blog on your website describing my contest, and link to my home page BradBrown.com. Then leave a comment here on this post to let me know about your entry. The deadline for entry is Saturday May 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 A.M. EST. I will then validate all the entry postings. The winner will be picked by random drawing on Sunday May 4th at 11:59 A.M. EST. Sites with objectionable content (adult sites, AdSense farms, spam sites, etc) will not be eligible to win. I will notify you if your entry has been rejected. The dishrag, kitchen sink, kitchen counter, fake plant, and icecube trays are shown in the photos for artistic purposes only and not included with the cap. If you need any clarification on the rules, email me.
 
Sample Postings
In case you’re asking yourself “What should I put in my post?,” here are three sample posts (feel free to copy and use verbatim):

• Win a Free Cap! - Brad Brown at BradBrown.com is giving away a lousy cap that he’s had in his closet for seven years. Go to his website, BradBrown.com, for entry details. This is sure to be the worst blog contest I’ve seen in years.
• How Not To Hold a Blog Contest - Brad Brown at BradBrown.com is giving away a collector’s item (assuming you’re a collector of vintage 2000-era baseball caps). Go to his website, BradBrown.com, for entry details and to buy random products from Amazon.
• Ten Ways To Pretend You’re Still in a Fraternity - 10. Wear a baseball cap all the time. You can win a free one at BradBrown.com.

 
Frequently Asked Questions

1. You said this cap had changed your life. How?
    
   That was a lie that just sounded so good in print, I decided to leave it

 

2. Has this cap ever been worn?
    
   No. It’s essentially new, not counting a light layer of dust from having sat in a prize closet for seven years

 

3. How much is this hat worth?
    
   I’d say forty cents of quality nylon, combined with eighteen cents of Chinese labor, equals about a dollar or so (using American math).

 

4. What else will you be giving away in the future?
    
   A diamond ring, a camera, concrete gargoyles, a classic MacBook - these are just four of the items you’ll see in the upcoming months. So come back every eight hours or so to see what I’m giving away next.



 


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