Brad Brown

Photo by Mike Johnston

The majority of BradBrown.com’s readers are from Liechtenstein. The one thing I have in common with all my readers, regardless of their location, is Atlanta’s Hartsfield airport. If you fly at least once a year, statistics show that there’s a 90% chance that in the next five years, you’ll travel through Hartsfield. While you’re in Atlanta, I encourage you to explore what the city has to offer, particularly the cuisine. If you’re brave enough to spend the hour it takes to get out of the airport, you’ll find literally hundreds of great places to dine (assuming you’re foolish enough to spend the two hours it takes to drive away from the airport).
 

Dante’s Down the Hatch

If you’ve ever wanted to eat fondue while sitting on the Black Pearl surrounded by vicious crocodiles, then Dante’s is your place. Dante’s is located in a trendy section of town known as Buckhead. It’s housed in a rather nondescript building. However, once you enter, you’ll be transported into a nautical wonderland. The interior is reminiscent of a pirate’s ship. Sails, rope, and seamen abound. In addition, tens of Philippine crocodiles roam the canals that line the walkways, waiting to pounce on any morsel of meat that may fall their way.
 
I recommend making reservations, since Dante’s does become crowded, particularly on the weekends. When you call, you’ll be asked if you want to sit on or off the ship. If you sit on the ship, you can see the jazz band perform. Regardless of where you sit, the music permeates the entire restaurant.
 
Start first with the cheese fondue, which is a mixture of Gruyere, Emmenthal, and other Swiss cheeses. It is served with French-bread croutons and Virginia Winesap apples. For the main course, I suggest the Mandarin fondue, which includes marinated beef and pork, breaded shrimp, chicken, and various vegetables. It comes with four dipping sauces - horseradish, teriyaki, sweet and sour, and remoulade. Price range: $50+.
 

Abdullah The Butcher’s House Of Ribs and Chinese Food

Abdullah was one of my favorite wrestlers when I was a kid. Dad and I would sit down at five o’clock on Saturday evenings, and we’d watch Fred Ward’s hour-long wrestling show. Abdullah would come out, hop into the ring, and about midway through the match, he’d discretely cut his forehead with some hidden razor or glass to make it appear as if his competitor was vicious. He’d feign fatigue, then in a sudden burst of energy, he’d pin his opponent to the mat. One…two…three…it was all over, and the “Man from Sudan” would be triumphant once more (Abdullah is actually Canadian).
 
Abdullah eventually retired from wrestling, but he wanted to create a culinary legacy before he died. He took his two great loves - barbecued ribs, and Chinese food - and created a restaurant that will live long after he’s gone. I suggest ordering the ribs and collard greens. I would also recommend having your photo taken with Abdullah if he happens to be there. No matter what you do, don’t make him angry. He could pin you to the floor and put you in a figure-four leg lock faster than you can say “Kung Pao.” Price range: $6 - $10.
 

Havana Sandwich Shop

This place is located in the ethnic Mecca known as Buford Highway, just south of Little Mexico. It’s actually run by authentic Cubans, so you can be assured of real Cuban cuisine. If you go for lunch, arrive at 11:30 or earlier if you want to get a seat. By noon, there will be a line running outside the door down past El Casho del Checko. I recommend the Cuban samich ™ platter: Cuban samich, black beans, and yellow rice. Compliment your meal with a Jarritos soda. It’s the official soda of Cuba, and the only soda to contain low levels of THC, which will leave you mellow.
 
The misogynist will appreciate the attractive women that frequent the place during lunchtime. I prefer the twenty year-old cashier who has a tattoo down her entire right arm. She tells me she’s going to have the other arm covered when she has the money. Kids today - they’re so ambitious. Price range (for the food, not the cashier): $6 - $10.
 

Fogo de Chão Churrascaria

Photo by Mike Johnston

Fogo is actually a chain restaurant, but I’m not going to hold that against them. Apparently, Americans have developed a fondness for meat served on skewers carried by waiters in Zorro costumes. That’s exactly what Fogo delivers. Men in tight pants bring skewers of meat to your table, and then they slice off hearty portions with the skill of a scorned housewife. Ten to fifteen different meats are in circulation at any one time. My favorites include beef ancho, Picanha, and the filet mignon. In addition, they have a high-quality salad and cheese bar featuring heart of palm [they don’t actually feature it; I’m just obsessed with it]. Alternatives to Fogo include Fire of Brazil and Carro de Boi, although I think Fogo features higher quality meats. Price range: $25 for lunch, $50+ for dinner.
 

The Landmark Diner (Buckhead location)

In the eighties, all the fashionable, coke-snorting hipsters ate at the Landmark Diner. I know why - dim lighting and an amazing twenty-page menu full of Greek goodness. I would recommend either the spinach and feta cheese omelet, or the Greek sampler, which includes spanakopita, pastitsio, dolmades, and elephant beans. Price range: $10 - $15.
 

The Swallow at the Hollow

The connotations that arise from the word “swallow” make me giggle like a schoolgirl at a keg party. Regardless, this is one of the truly authentic barbecue places in Atlanta (I was raised in rural Alabama, so I feel qualified to make that assertion). The restaurant is housed in a weathered barn - no faux-distressed wood here; it’s the real thing, as is the food. During lunch, order one of their platters, which should fill up all but the most obese of individuals. On Friday and Saturday nights, famous Nashville songwriters come out to sing their greatest hits, and the walls are adorned with hundreds of autographed photos of previous performers. Price range: < $10.
 
Another great alternative is Williamson’s Brothers BBQ in May-retta. As an added bonus, Williamson’s Brothers is located near the Big Chicken, so you can see the major Atlanta landmark while you’re there.
 

Greenwood’s

Greenwood’s is a restaurant that features Southern-style food prepared by a hippie from the North. That was the story that I was told before I first went there. It’s not an entirely accurate description. Greenwood’s actually prepares its meals with less salt than you’ll find in traditional Southern food. That’s not a bad thing, but it will be a shock when you bite into the black-eye peas and think, “I taste the pea, but not the salt.” [repeat that sentence orally for a good, juvenile laugh].
 
Regardless of salt content, the food is phenomenal and the servings are so large, you could eat two meals from one plate. My favorites include the meatloaf, and the tender fried chicken. Save room for dessert. Better yet, buy an entire pie - the lemon meringue pie is made with actual lemon (!) and is the tartest you’ll ever taste. Price range: $10 - $15.
 

Places To Avoid

 
T.G.I. Friday’s (at the airport) - Your only excuse for going there should be desperation or convenience. In general, I like the Friday’s restaurant chain [when nothing else is open], but the cuisine at this particular location is reminiscent of The Waffle House, without the atmosphere.
 
The Varsity - The Varsity is the restaurant where Nipsey Russell got his start. Beyond that bit of trivia, I’m not sure what the appeal is. If you’d like to simulate a Varsity experience, walk into your local Wal-Mart cafeteria. Ask for a chili-dog, a hamburger topped with chili, and some onion rings. That is the Varsity experience. If you do decide to go, don’t be scared when they ask loudly, “What’ll Ya Have? What’ll Ya Have?” Translated, it means “Are you ready to order now?”
 
Cubano the Original Cuban - I reviewed this place in an earlier article. Never let a white person open a Cuban sandwich shop in a suburban strip mall. Something always gets lost in translation. In this case, it’s the flavor.
 

Frequently Asked Questions

• Brad Brown, you concentrated more on describing the atmosphere and people, and less on the food. Is the food any good at these places?
   
  Absolutely. I can eat great food in a closet, but what makes for a pleasurable dining experience is good food served in an interesting atmosphere. I’ve been to each place multiple times over the past ten years.

 

• If Swallow at the Hollow features famous Nashville songwriters, what are they doing singing in an Atlanta BBQ restaurant instead of a Nashville BBQ restaurant?
   
  I often lie awake at night wondering the same thing.

 

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